I feel loved.

I spent the bulk of my day at work yesterday trying to fend off a panic attack. I was wondering when those were going to start up again. I was hoping I would make it through the next two months without one, but I know better.

After work, I decided to be proactive and I went around to some stores in FW and bought supplies, mostly for my medical kit. It was kinda fun! I felt much better, just taking small actions instead of thinking about the big picture. First, I rummaged through all my medical supplies at home, which led to me organizing my bathroom. Whenever I feel like things are getting out of control, I like to organize. It gives me great satisfaction to put everything in its place.

I've been freaking out about how I'm going to transport my diabetic supplies, but yesterday I bought a little cooler and some ice packs, which I think will do the trick for my insulin. So that helps me breathe easier. And, it was so cute, Dave helped me out! I went over there for dinner (Mom and Dave had fresh clams from their weekend at the ocean--yummy!) and was talking about my supply adventure, and Dave brought out an array of duffle bags. I chose one that was small enough to be a carry-on, but big enough to fit the bulk of my diabetic supplies! You could tell he was really pleased with himself to be helping me out. It was so darling. For all the ups and downs of our relationship, I know he really does care about me. So that was a nice reminder.

Also, my stepsister-in-law is letting me take her backpack, which I finally picked up yesterday. It's pretty amazing that she's letting me take it for a year! Just seeing it helped me picture how I would make everything fit, and again, it calmed my nerves. I really have to be able to see how something is going to work to be able to relax about it.

It feels really good to have people rallying to support me and help me out right now. I feel loved.