It will go quickly

Man, I'm in a strange mood today. I just feel...wild. My dad accused me of starting to get excited for Christmas, as if I'm seven years old again! Although, I am vaguely excited to see how much money I can get in presents this year. That would really take the pressure off, financially. I'm tiiiiired of working so much!

I sort of eased into working so many hours. Having that adjustment period was really helpful in terms of not making enormous, drastic changes to my schedule. And despite a few disruptions to my bloodsugars, things seem to be evening out. However, this last week, everything totally caught up to me, and all I want to do tonight is crawl into bed and watch movies. (Unfortunately, I will probably have to work.) It probably has something to do with me trying to be social on top of everything else. It's ironic that during AmeriCorps when I had a ton of free time I never wanted to leave the house, and now that I have no time, I'm desperate to cram social calls into my late nights. This is not sustainable.

I hope there is enough time over the holiday season to spend plenty of quality time with everyone that's coming into town. Chris is staying for two weeks! Becca is staying the longest she has stayed since she moved from L.A. to San Francisco--ten days. I don't think I've seen her for that much time in six years! Laurie and Lewis are going to stay with me for a bit, and I'm sure Jacob will be around for a long time too! I can't wait to spend time with my pals! I feel especially needy for intense hangout time since it's all I will have to hold onto after I leave. It sort of devastates me that I won't see Jacob for like a year and a half. That seems like forever. And if one more person tells me it will go quickly, I'm going to scream.

Time does have this alarming habit of speeding up as I age. I remember when the drive from my childhood home to Five Mile Lake seemed endless. Now, I drive it all the time on the way to Latino Night School, and it takes about eight minutes. I find I am always looking toward the future, however immediate it may be. I start thinking about my schedule for the weekend on Monday. My six hour days at my dad's office seem to disappear, although I get very little accomplished. Does this constant thinking about the future prevent me from enjoying the present? Will all my worrying about making my time left here meaningful prevent me from actually engaging in my surroundings in a meaningful way? No. Please, no.